Streams of Grace's Laura Lies sits down with Todd Miechiels of The 3:15 Project to explore how spiritual directors can grow and help their directees grow.
What does helping someone know and share their story wholeheartedly have to do with spiritual direction? For a while now, I’ve been thinking a whole lot! When I first started helping people share their story through my work with The 3:15 Project in 2010, “spiritual direction” was a pretty foreign concept to me. I pretty much stayed in the “intentional discipleship” circles early in my ministry. But somewhere along the journey of helping nearly 400 people through a guided process to help share their story, I realized what I’m doing is drawing from spiritual direction practices and tradition.
So what do you do when you don’t know much about something? I start seeking, connecting and learning from people further down the road than me. That has led me deeper with my friends at Exhale and Cloud Walk Ministries.
I’ve also started looking at the Allender Center as well as Sustainable Faith and am looking forward immersing myself in a few online classes. I also reached out to my friend Laura Lies who is a spiritual director with Streams of Grace and she was kind enough to interview me as I look to connect with other spiritual directors, you can find the transcript at the end of this post.
If you are a spiritual director or know one that may have an interest or curiosity in helping people know and share their story, I’d love to have a conversation and connect on LinkedIn or Facebook.
A Conversation About Spiritual Direction and Sharing Our Stories
Laura Lies, Spiritual Director & Todd Miechiels from 3:15 Project
Laura Lies:
Todd Miechiels is a friend of mine and the founder of The 3:15 Project, a ministry that helps Christians know and share their story. Todd reached out to me recently as he’s hoping to connect and walk with some like-hearted spiritual directors. We sat down for a conversation and these are some of the highlights from our time together.
Laura:
Welcome, Todd. Tell us a little about your ministry.
Todd Miechiels:
About 10 years ago, I was in the marketplace doing marketing consulting and minding my own business. Out of the blue I got this calling to help Christians know and share their story, and in such a way that they would be able and willing to offer their story on video and audio, and then God could use it any way He wanted. Over the last 10 years or so, we’ve helped about 400 people go through this process I call Steps of Courage. I've come to believe and almost surrendered to the fact that what I'm really doing is some sort of spiritual direction, but I don't know a whole lot about spiritual direction in the vocational or traditional sense. So I'm eager to learn, and learn how we can improve what we're doing so more people can be more deeply served and grow closer to Jesus by knowing and sharing their story.
Laura:
I think many of us as spiritual directors around the world are always looking for new ways to help our directees, our clients, grow in their transformational spiritual journey. And, what I like about what you’re doing is that it's another way to reach people, just get their attention frankly, and it could be a beginning, a start to a relationship with a spiritual director. I know you have this great method that we could learn as directors, and it could also be something we offered to current directees as well.
I think we're always looking for new ways to reach out to people, especially in this world in 2020, with all the challenges we seem to face, new ones come almost monthly. So, I'm grateful just for this new way to communicate the deeper transformational work, and this is yet another tool to do that. This is what makes me very interested in it as a spiritual director. And, having known you and other colleagues who've known you for years, I do value your expertise in this area.
Todd:
It's funny that you see it as a tool and that I’m an expert because I've been feeling like I’ve been doing what I can with it, but want to see how it works in the hands of some master practitioners! So, I'm really hoping to connect with a couple of spiritual directors that will be like, "Okay, Todd. I see what you've been doing. Let me see if I can help you do it even better at a deeper level.”
Laura:
Well, I appreciate your humility of ways that we can help fine tune it for this particular art form called spiritual direction. Well, I'd love to kind of dive into the who, what, where kind of stuff. And so why don't we start with the why. Why would a spiritual director and a spiritual directee be interested in this sort of tool?
Todd:
That's a great question! I've heard spiritual directors and pastors tell me after watching people they know go through the process that it's nothing less than a healing ministry, a restoration ministry. And, we of course see those aspects of it. We say we want to help Christians know and share their story wholeheartedly, but you can't share what you don't have. So, helping Christians that are honest enough and humble enough to say, "I don't know my story, or I don't feel like telling it, or I can't tell it." That to me is the why. It's not about the video, that's the celebration, fruit and evidence of the process. It's really the journey that people go through, to go from unwilling to willing, and hopefully from willing to actually desiring to know and share their story, wholeheartedly.
Laura:
Tell us more about the actual process itself.
Todd:
We try to make it simple (not easy, but not complicated) for the director. For the directee, we try not to share too much about the process in advance, because we want them to step out in faith and step into the unknown. We also are intentional to make it challenging for the directee, so that they stretch, and grow as they lean and rely on the Holy Spirit. So from my director’s standpoint, it's really about helping them to commit in their heart, "Hey, I'm willing to do it. I don't know exactly what it's going to look like or what might happen, but I'm willing to do it." And then we help them with what I’d describe as a set of directed spiritual exercises, contemplation, journaling, listening prayer, and meditating on select scripture passages. We use that as a way to prime the pump, or rather prime the heart, because a lot of these folks aren’t in the habit or environments where they're doing a lot of meditation, or journaling, or listening time, or anything like that.
We've been able to lead people through this journey that in most cases would say they didn’t have time for, or an interest in spiritual direction. But in going through the process, whether they knew it or not, they're essentially being directed to take a couple hours in the first week and just listen to the Lord and be reminded of who they are and whose they are. Then we give them some tools to help them draft out their story, and ultimately refine it down to around 500 words. I realized something after helping the first 150 people or so compose their story. I grew up as a musician and a songwriter, and I think what I'm doing is helping people co-write a psalm with the Lord and with the Spirit. These are essentially lyrics to love songs!
We then direct them to meditate on their story so that it can be woven into their heart, and into their memory. And then, we have them go through this awkward process of starting to recite it orally because a lot of people have never said certain words out loud in such a personal way, if at all. And many feel uncomfortable through the process, much like a seventh grader might in speech class going up to the front of the room for the first time. So, it's okay to be uncomfortable. We're here to grow.
And then while it's fresh in their memory and their heart and they're able to essentially say it back to their director, much like they would the lyrics of a song that they know like the back of their hand, we say, "Okay, now it's time. If you're ready, we're going to arrange to have this captured on film for you." And a lot of people are really scared of the camera, and a lot of vanity issues come in, but we create this incredibly spirit filled, prayer-soaked feet washing environment. When they walk in there are lights and candles, and there are people praying for them. We've heard over and over, “I thought this was going to be scary but it's one the most peaceful, warmest rooms I've ever been in.” And that's not me. It's not our method. It’s God weaving in together people from different art forms, and spiritual charisms, for one unified purpose of being fully present and helping someone grow in Christ.
Laura:
Wow. That's beautiful. Thank you for giving us kind of a quick snapshot of some of the approaches that you use with this, and just the gift that it clearly is. So, Todd, do you have a recommendation of who this would be ideal for as a tool? Both director and directee?
Todd:
As I step into this in terms of inviting and directing people, I can only tell you for me what fires me up. It’s for people who yearn to step out of their comfort zone. People who yearn to grow in humility and trust, who are running too hard, too fast. Early on I would just ask, “God who do you want me to invite?” And, I thought He was going to give me some names but He didn't. He said, "I want you to invite people that have been restored."
Laura:
Those adjectives you use describe so many of us on planet earth today. When is the right time to offer the suggestion of this tool to a directee?
Todd:
I think of the apostle Paul writing to Timothy saying, "Be ready to share in season and out of season." I’m reminded of the words of Saint Peter saying, "Always be ready to give a reason for your hope." That being said, our stewardship for the director's time and the directee's time, I would say when someone has a willing, pliable, coachable heart, and they're willing to be led out of their comfort zone, because if they're not, it's probably not the right time. Of course the willingness is a matter of the heart, but the ability can be taught and directed. And scripture tell us in Acts 1:8, that when the spirit comes upon us, we will be witnesses to the ends of the earth. If we put our faith in Christ, it's probably not a leap of faith to believe that the Spirit will give us the ability to share the reason for our hope (1 Peter 3:15). But I also think we need to have a willing heart.
Laura:
Indeed. Isn't that the bottom line? The willingness, the humility to accept the help. So, one of the questions we often ask is where. So are there any particular suggestions especially when it comes to any of the filming? The technical parts of all this. How does that all work?
Todd:
So let's look at it from the overarching purpose or goal, which is to help lead the directee deeper in Christ. So from their perspective, it doesn't matter if it's a professional camera in a studio. We've been in rooms the size of a small office with the curtains drawn, a couple of lit candles, and an iPhone on a tripod. And this is important, that there are warm lights. So that they feel the reverence, and the value that God places in their story. And, we want that person to feel like they're the only person in our lives at that moment. So, it's a ministry of us being fully present to them as we're fully present with Christ. And if you get that part right, I don't think the directees care much about the production quality of the video. That being said, I certainly care about it as the director. We are commemorating and memorializing an 8 to 12 week journey that could be seen countless times, so we want to capture it with excellence and reverence. But I wouldn’t worry about all the technical filming aspects, because that’s several steps down the journey. Our ministry is deeply committed to helping directors and pastors connect the dots so that they wouldn't have to worry about the production aspects. It’s a very connectional movement and it all starts with people that are willing to go through the process.
Laura:
Excellent. That's very good news. I think most of us are not really tech wonders, so it's very encouraging, they can keep it very simple. So, thank you for that. Where do we take it from here Todd? How would director’s who are interested in learning more take the next step?
Todd:
My prayer would be that they would reach out to you, and that together we would explore possibilities. But they can also reach out to me at todd@the315project.com, and I’m on LinkedIn and Facebook.
Laura:
Anything else you’d like people to know?
Todd Miechiels:
I do have a prayer. I sense there are some directors out there that have been going at it hard in their own practices. They've been pouring their cup into so many directees and not necessarily getting their own cup poured into. Deep down they may be saying, "God, I'm tired. I'm exhausted. If I'm being honest, I'm not even sure if I remember the reason for the hope that I have in you in my heart." It would be a beautiful manifestation of what's on my heart, to take a group of directors through this together. Directors that may or may not know each other together, and just walk it out. It can all be done for the most part virtually. And, I would much rather have you talking to directors that have experienced this. Let them talk about what this is and could be rather than me trying to describe it because I'm not sure that I fully understand what we're scratching the surface of, but I'm committed to learning.
Laura:
So, a group of spiritual directors who would be willing to give this a go for themselves, for their own nourishment. And, that's something that we're often trained in. First, it's about our own walk of transformation before we can then in turn help others. Todd, thank you so much for just reaching out to me, and through me, the rest of our global community of spiritual directors internationally. I'm really humbled that you would begin with me. So, thank you so much. It's a great honor.
Todd:
I’m glad God put it on my heart to reach out to you! Thank you!